⚡ Rewire your brain ➡️ strengthen your relationships

Good evening, gentlemen!

So you want to be great? Take heart because . . .

Insight: “The mind is like Velcro for negative experiences . . . and Teflon for positive ones.” — Rick Hanson, Ph.D.

Why this matters: It’s no surprise that dwelling on the negative feels more natural than focusing on the positive. In today’s culture, negativity is everywhere—thriving on scandals, mishaps, and failures, whether personal or organizational. If we aren’t careful, this mindset can seep into our own lives, affecting how we think about others and even ourselves. Negative experiences or thoughts stick to our brains like Velcro, while positive ones slip away like Teflon. According to Rick Hanson, Ph.D., we have a built-in “negativity bias,” but the good news is that we can overcome it. Hanson’s research reveals that by intentionally focusing on and internalizing positive experiences, we can rewire our brains to minimize the physical and psychological toll of negativity and sustain the good in life. This isn’t just an idea—it’s science.

By shifting our focus and being mindful of how we view ourselves and others, we can break the cycle of negativity and embrace the best life has to offer. We see this in Paul’s writing to the church in Philippi where he said “And now, dear brothers and sisters, one final thing. Fix your thoughts on what is true, and honorable, and right, and pure, and lovely, and admirable. Think about things that are excellent and worthy of praise.” — Philippians 4:8 (NLT)

Wisdom: “We don’t sacrifice our kids’ formation so that we can have an easier life. We sacrifice the ease of our lives so our kids can have biblical formation.” — Justin Whitmel Earley

Why this matters: Sacrifice is central to a man’s life, especially in parenting. But let’s be honest—sacrifice isn’t easy. It’s uncomfortable, painful, and leaves scars. Yet scars are powerful because they tell stories—stories of action, resilience, and love. These stories form the substance behind the lessons, wisdom, and grit we pass on to our children. Sacrificing for your kids isn’t about words; it’s about living a life worth emulating. I want to be a man who can confidently say, “Do as I do, not as I say.” That kind of leadership requires laying down comfort and convenience to build a legacy of faith and strength for the next generation.

This is summed up perfectly in the book of John where it says, “There is no greater love than to lay down one’s life for one’s friends.” John 15:13 (NLT)

Action: “That “magic ratio” is 5 to 1. This means that for every negative interaction during conflict, a stable and happy marriage has five (or more) positive interactions.” — Dr. John Gottman

Why this matters: Building on Dr. Hanson’s insight, positive interactions are essential to counteract the negative ones. In the whirlwind of marriage, parenting, work, and life, there are endless opportunities to dwell on what’s not going as planned—stress, complaints, or frustrations. Instead of letting those moments dominate, take one small step to tip the scales. When faced with a negative interaction—whether with your spouse, kids, coworkers, or friends—be intentional about adding a positive one (or five). A kind word, a small act of service, or even a moment of encouragement can go a long way in creating balance and fostering stronger relationships.

“Kind words are like honey— sweet to the soul and healthy for the body.” Proverbs 16:24 (NLT)

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