🛑 Stop moving on to the next thing, do this instead...

The 5-minute weekly newsletter for married fathers to feel seen and supported, think differently and take action.

Good afternoon fam! Spring is upon us and so are the allergies. Also, I did our taxes recently. Not sure which is worse.

At any rate, it is getting warmer and I am not mad about it!

-Collier

Shout out to my brother Logan who put me on to this quote.

This has hit me hard the past few weeks - highlighted by my busy work schedule, having 3 kids under the age of 5, and working on my marriage while also wanting to be social but at the same time needing way more sleep than I am getting - can anyone else relate?

Through all of that, what struck me was how quickly (and sometimes effortlessly) I take myself out of the present moment.

Being where my feet are, for me, means turning off as much of the noise around me as I can (usually my phone), having gratitude for where I am at physically/emotionally/spiritually, and saying yes to the present while saying no to the future - even if the “future” is an hour from now.

Whatever it is, all we have is the moment right in front of us.

If that is true, a question I keep asking myself is, “How can I capitalize on it?”

During a difficult season in my life and marriage, some wisdom (from a well-known author, coach, and speaker) stuck with me from the early stages of that particular journey.

That advice was to [regarding my situation]:

• See it as it is, not worse than it is.

• See it better than it is.

• Make it the way you see it.

In that order.

I still find myself coming back to this today, for three reasons:

1. It grounds me. There is so much power in “right-sizing” the trials you face. It is easy in the heat of it to blow it out of proportion and go DEFCON 1. It is also easy and can be tempting to minimize the issue. I want to fall in the middle.

2. It gives me hope. When these situations arise, it is vital to hold on to some ounce of hope that it will get better at some point in one way or another.

3. It stretches me to do something about it. The only way to get to the “better” is to make a plan to get there. It could be small steps, but small steps are better than doing nothing.

Take 10 seconds to do an energy reset before walking in the door.

When I come home from work, I can sometimes get super mellow or even moody. It could have been a tough day at work or maybe I am just annoyed/zoned out because of my sometimes hour-long commute back home.

If I sense that my energy is off, I will do a simple 10-second reset in the car or right before I walk in the door.

All I do is 1) five fast deep breaths, and 2) amp myself up with a “LET’S GO!!” (credit my boi Chaz).

Not rocket science but a little something to turn up the energy and get the blood pumping into my body.

We all know that our kids and wives feed off the energy we bring into the home. (I also know that sometimes we are just drained and that is OK too.)

In either case, it is vital that we take inventory and always be mindful of what we are bringing to the table!

That’s a wrap, folks!

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