💡Embracing the opposite might be your next unlock

Fam! Wuz Gucci!

Welcome to the first edition of Elite Dads Weekly. Just by opening this bad boi up, you have become part of a distinguished group of gentlemen and scholars. Congratulations.

You are on this list because I know you are striving, just like me, to be ELITE as a man, in your marriage, and with your kids. This, of course, doesn’t happen overnight and takes being consistent one small step at a time.

There is only one rule here at Elite Dads Weekly and that is: we keep it real and we keep it short. I want you all to be able to open this newsletter and get in and get out in under 5 minutes.

In all seriousness, I created EDW as a way to 1) get connected with more like-minded married men with kids and 2) curate action-provoking wisdom, whether it be through a quote, story, interview, or insight to help dads feel supported, to help encourage new thought patterns, and to stop overthinking and take action.

That is my story in a nutshell.

I have struggled to be consistent in taking action to get where I want to go. I have believed the lie that merely thinking about taking action or listening to podcasts, reading articles, or watching motivational Instagram reels about taking action means I am actually doing something.

That, my friends, no matter how well-intentioned, is deception. I am on a mission to rewrite that story and hope you will join me.

This is why each newsletter, tailored specifically for married fathers, includes one quote, one piece of advice from someone who has been there, and one action prompt for the week.

In each of these, I hope you find something that you can hold onto throughout your day and week (until the next one) to turn passivity into proactive growth for yourself, your marriage, and your kids. As @shaanvp would say, “No small boy stuff!”

Hit me up if you have any questions or feedback!

Now…let’s get to it…⬇⬇

I have fallen into this trap many a time of “well, I did my best!” - when in reality, my “best” was just a sad excuse to say I checked whatever it was off the list.

This usually shows up for me in two areas: 1) how well (or not well) I pursue my wife and 2) how I show up with my kids daily.

I can easily stroke my ego and tell myself I made the right call, but the data shows I fell short of the requirement in that particular situation. Let’s be men who bring our BEST and at the same time accomplish what is REQUIRED.

There is an interview that I came across the other day from this popular account - @theschoolofhardknockz - where a guy walks around and interviews a broad range of entrepreneurs about their success and how they got where they are today.

This particular interview struck me with some serious thought-provoking wisdom:

Interviewer: [After the interviewee describes being broke half of his life] What was that turning point for you [and] for somebody who may be at rock bottom right now, what is an actionable step that people can take to get their life back on track?

Interviewee (an older gentleman in his mid-60s): “Most people will sacrifice what they want most for what they want now. And “now” is the most expensive word in the English language. I would say go to church, pray, figure out how things work, and learn how to articulate that to other people. People will seek you out if you are knowledgeable and trustworthy.”

My takeaway: First off, I got choked up watching this, because you can see a humility and genuineness in his approach to life that is really pure. That is what I want.

Second, I have been/sometimes still can be “most people” in this scenario - sacrificing what I want most for what I want now - which has only brought more pain emotionally, spiritually, physically, and even financially. That is what I don’t want.

Note taken.

This week’s action prompt is to embrace Opposite Action.

When an emotion (like anger, anxiety, envy, or shame) motivates us to take an action that is not effective, do the opposite.

For example: You were rejected or criticized by people you care about. You have the urge to hide, thinking to yourself “I’m a disappointment/failure/inconvenience, etc.”

To change course, do the opposite: share with people whom you feel safe with or who won’t reject you or stay and show up even if it feels uncomfortable.

Repeatedly taking the Opposite Action to the emotional urge has two benefits: 1) It can help you change an ineffective behavior without needing to change how you feel; 2) It can help bring down the intensity of the emotion over time.

(Source: Lyra Health)

Boom. That’s it and that’s all, folks. Thanks for stopping by!

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